1. Incase Pro Slider Case for iPhone 4

    August 14, 2012 by Huxley

    At its core, a phone case has a very simple purpose: protect the phone against casual accidents, while not interfering with the normal usage of the phone. Unfortunately, the Incase Pro Slider Case for iPhone 4 (and 4s) fails this goal in several different an annoying ways.

    The Incase Pro Slider is a simple affair – a case that slips over the edges and back of the iPhone, with a detachable bottom piece to make docking and charging the phone possible while the larger portion of the case is left on. However, this case fails its mission in three different, equally annoying ways.

    First: the rubber edging of the case is very stiff. Initially this may seem like a good thing – a stiff case is more likely to protect in a fall, right? Wrong. The rubber edge covers both the volume buttons and the sleep/wake button at the top of the phone, and is so stiff that significant pressure is required to cause any response from the buttons. Even worse, the rubber is thick enough that it completely muffles any tactile response from the (normally very “clicky”) buttons, leaving the user uncertain if the button was even triggered at all. This is particularly annoying when attempting to lock the screen while putting the phone into a pocket – a visual double-check is usually required to be sure that the phone is actually locked, and not pocket-dialing 911 or a stabby ex.

    Second: the bottom piece falls off at the barest whisper of pull or pressure. It will pop off when the phone is pulled from a pocket. It will detach when the phone is being held up to the users ear. It will fly off if the phone is even lightly bumped. This brings us to:

    Third: the case is completely unable to protect the iPhone from even short drops, due to the bottom pieces habit of flying off. Even a drop of a couple inches onto a soft surface will send the bottom end of the case flipping across the room. Should you be unfortunate enough to drop your iPhone from waist or head-height while wearing the Incase Pro Slider case, your phone is even more likely to be damaged, since on initial impact the bottom will pop off, and on any subsequent bounces the rigid rubber edging noted above will keep your phone bouncing across the floor, while the suddenly-unprotected bottom portion is repeatedly slammed into whatever hard surfaces present themselves.

    In short, if you value your iPhone and don’t wish to render its buttons unusable shortly before the phone itself is smashed to pieces, find an alternative to the Incase Pro Slider.


  2. Lenovo ThinkPad W520

    July 14, 2012 by Huxley

    As regular readers of PTHY will know, we look very kindly upon most Apple designs, especially the MacBook family. Other companies have worked tirelessly to clone the sleek, simple and elegant design of the MacBook Pro and MacBook Air, with varying degrees of success. The bold minds at Lenovo, however, apparently took a different approach to this. We like to imagine that this was the series of events that lead to the ThinkPad W520:

    1. Lenovo managers decide to design and release an exceedingly powerful notebook, one which can compete head-to-head against even a top-of-the-line MacBook Pro
    2. Lenovo next spends several years perfecting a time-travel device, and then uses this device to bring forward in time a group of Soviet-era scientists from an unspecified Eastern Bloc nation
    3. These scientists are stuffed into a brightly-lit room with a brand-new MacBook Pro for one hour, during which time they scramble desperately to notate every important feature for later replication
    4. This team of scientists then set about designing a new breed of mobile workstation, one which combines the bleeding-edge power of the latest Intel and Nvidia chips with all the comfort and user-experience savvy they gained while designing Soviet land-mines in the early 1970s

     

    Okay, we’re kidding – we’re (mostly) sure that the designers of the ThinkPad W520 aren’t also responsible for land-mines. However, they certainly are responsible for a laptop design so poor, it may as well be classified as a crime against humanity. The W520 absolutely reeks of “checklist-matching syndrome.” In other words, the designers made a checklist of all the important features needed for a top-of-the-line notebook (a list clearly inspired in many regards by a MacBook Pro), and then set about doing the absolute minimum required to claim that the W520 is feature-matched against the comparable Apple machine.

    A prime example: when a MacBook detects (via embedded light sensors) that the room around it has gone dark, it will smoothly, gently reduce the brightness of the display while simultaneously illuminating the keyboard from below with a gentle, inviting glow. Conversely, the W520 waits for the user to manually press a special function-key combo, which instantly activates a blinding white LED light in the upper edge of the display frame.

    This serves two purposes: first, Lenovo can now list “Illuminated keyboard” on the feature checklist (important for those pesky comparison shoppers!), and second, to blind any user unlucky enough to activate the feature while in a dark room. Seriously, the light is painfully, eye-searingly bright, and at most display-angles serves to light the inside of the user’s skull as well as it lights the keyboard.

    Another example: the W520 includes a multi-function optical drive on the right side of the machine. Debates about the ongoing value of spinning plastic as a storage medium aside, this is another “checklist-matching” feature. However, the designers also opted to place the eject button for this (non-slot-loading) drive in the worst possible place along the right edge of the machine. It is virtually impossible to pick this notebook up and not inadvertently eject the drive tray, which cheerfully pops out directly into the unfortunate users hand.

    It is easy to excuse some things in a non-Apple, workstation-class notebook. It weighs more, runs much louder and hotter, has the design aesthetic of a cement mixer, and is generally unpleasant to use. However, some of the choices made by the designers are simply hostile to the user, and that is why the Lenovo ThinkPad W520 is a Product That Hates You.


  3. Air-Powered Hand Dryers

    July 2, 2011 by Huxley

    Two different PTHY readers have written in to suggest adding those nearly ubiquitous air-blowing hand dryers seen in many public restrooms to our list of Products That Hate You.

    First, Teressa A. writes in about the “Xlerator” hand dryer:

    “This is not a hand dryer, but a high decibel, permanent hearing loss, scare my child into panicked screams of terror, should not be placed in a restroom type of product that does nothing to save trees! I’d rather use paper than lose my hearing!”
    Next, reader Ken W. suggests the “Dyson Airblade:”
    “I’m all for Dyson products, however this should be called “earblade” instead of airblade because it’s ear-splitting loud in a restroom. It’s obnoxious!”

  4. Lil’ Luxuries Whirlpool, Bubbling Spa & Shower

    June 23, 2011 by Huxley

    PTHY reader Jessica S. writes in to suggest adding the “Lil’ Luxuries Whirlpool, Bubbling Spa & Shower” to the ever-growing list of Products That Hate You. Take a moment to see past the sheer silliness of marketing a sort of “baby Jacuzzi” as something a newborn would actually need or want. Instead, focus on the fact that (according to Jessica and other hapless buyers who’ve posted online reviews), this battery-powered boondoggle features such a poor design, the bathwater will almost instantly flood the battery compartment while a baby is soaking in the tub.

    Note the strangely “Photoshopped” appearance of the promotional images for this product. It’s almost as though the photographer didn’t want to risk electrocuting his baby-model, and so he assembled these images from stock photos and blue-screen shots. Seriously, look at the baby in both images – there’s not a drop of water on that kid, even as the water is spraying down!

     

     


  5. Microsoft Internet Explorer

    June 23, 2011 by Huxley

    Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 9 is not, in itself, a terrible browser.  In fact, the past couple of  versions have remained fairly competitive (by Microsoft’s standards) with other browsers.  However, earlier versions of Explorer were not only buggier than a swamp, but worse, fatally insecure by design.

    From Wikipedia’s page on Internet Explorer:

    Internet Explorer has been subjected to many security vulnerabilities and concerns: Much of the spyware, adware, and computer viruses across the Internet are made possible by exploitable bugs and flaws in the security architecture of Internet Explorer, sometimes requiring nothing more than viewing of a malicious web page in order to install themselves. This is known as a “drive-by install”. There are also attempts to trick the user into installing malicious software by misrepresenting the software’s true purpose in the description section of an ActiveX security alert.

    PTHY reader Kyle Larrazolo suggested the addition of Internet Explorer to this site, and added the following comment and picture (which shows what happens to Internet Explorer after a period of normal use, if the user accepts each “toolbar” add-on offered):

    Slow, bulky, tool/ task bars galore, every program always wanting to install a search bar, and pop ups always repeating the same question… but hey, without it FireFox and Chrome wouldnt be so amazing…

     


  6. JiangLing “Landwind” Chinese SUV

    June 17, 2011 by Huxley

    While we here at PTHY generally like to poke fun at poorly-designed products, there are also those products that can actually kill their users. One such example is the ”Landwind” SUV from Chinese automaker JiangLing.  As shown in the crash test footage linked below, the SUV looks sturdy and rugged enough… until it meets a concrete wall at ~40MPH.  Apparently, the JiangLing engineers were under the impression that “crumple zones” are another name for “driver’s legs.”  Note too how the airbag deploys just in time to gently caress the head of the driver… just before the steering wheel does its best Steven Seagal impression and twists the head nearly off the torso.

    The JiangLing Landwind is not the first vehicle to perform terribly in a crash test. What makes this SUV a true Product That Hates You is that it performs far worse than similar vehicles built decades prior, all while giving the appearance of a safe, family-friendly SUV.  Pity the poor, unwise Chinese (or European – these things were exported in small quantities) car-buyer who sees a Landwind and thinks, “hey, great! An affordable SUV to haul the family around in!”


  7. IBM PCjr Computer System

    June 15, 2011 by Huxley

    The IBM PCjr – an ill-fated attempt by IBM to design and market an “Apple II Killer” for home and school use.  The machine was a bizarre combination of interesting design concepts and terrible design implementation.  The machine was marketed as being “fully IBM Compatible” when those words really meant a lot to customers, but in fact was (roughly) 80% compatible with IBM’s own computers, resulting in near-constant application crashes and questionable accessory compatibility.

    Even more annoying was how IBM implemented the PCjr’s hardware upgrades.  Rather than allowing a user to install expansion boards inside the machine (as with most other desktops of the day), IBM instead introduced “Sidecars.”  These were rectangular blocks of circuitry which a user would bolt to the right side of the PCjr.  Each Sidecar had a pass-through port to allow even more Sidecars to be added in a sort of “daisy chain” of Sidecars. As a result, a fully-upgraded PCjr, loaded with Sidecars, would quickly start to look like the bastard step-child of a mutant Tetris block.

    The two most-hyped features of the PCjr were its groundbreaking wireless keyboard and advanced color graphics capabilities.  Unfortunately, IBM failed miserably on both counts.  The keyboard was exceedingly difficult to use due to the odd design of the keys, as they resembled the rubber buttons on a pocket calculator.  Even worse, the infrared wireless connection was extremely sensitive to disruption, resulting in countless errors and lost characters.  There was also a noticeable delay between key-press and on-screen result, which made gaming extremely frustrating.  The “advanced graphics system” required an expensive “Sidecar” module and an even more expensive custom PCjr color display, which (all together) priced the complete system at nearly double the nearest competitors.

     

    Easily one of the worst keyboards ever released

    Combining one of the worst keyboards ever made with an underpowered processor and graphics system, the PCjr was unpleasant to use from the moment it was unpacked.  After a tremendous launch, the buying public quickly realized that this product was a dog destined for the scrap bin of history, and so the PCjr has been largely forgotten.


  8. Pontiac Aztek

    May 30, 2011 by Huxley

    Come on, seriously. Look at this thing.


  9. Knockoff Power Adapters

    May 29, 2011 by Huxley

    No picture to go with this entry, but it’s still worth mentioning.  There are any number of fly-by-night operations (which will not be linked here) offering heavy discounts on notebook power adapters.  Unfortunately, the money you save purchasing one of these things is hardly worth it – they have a nasty habit of catching fire, shorting out, and even destroying the computers they’re connected to.  In short – stay far, far away from knockoff power adapters.


  10. Painfully Bright LED’s

    May 23, 2011 by Huxley

    This post is not so much about a specific product as it is about a recent trend in electronics and computer accessories:  The LED that shines with the fury of a thousand suns.

    For decades, the most common factor in ranking the “high tech-ness” of a product was the number of blinking lights on the item.  Ranging from props in science fiction (the bridge of the USS Enterprise in the original “Star Trek,” the internals of the “HAL 9000” computer in “2001: A Space Odyssey,” etc.) to actual consumer items (the Altair 8800 computer kit, the Lite-Brite children’s toy, etc.), glowing, blinking lights were an unmistakable message: “WARNING! Geeky fun ahead!”

    Unfortunately, this trend has now resulted in nearly every electronic gadget or computer accessory being festooned with at least one (usually blue or green) LED.  Whether a steady light or a blinking, flickering monstrosity, these LED’s seem to scream “YOU WANT HIGH TECH?! HERE’S YOUR HIGH TECH – RIGHT INTO YOUR EYEBALLS!”

    Case in point:  The “Atomik Technologies 10 Port Dynamic High-speed USB Hub,” found on Amazon at rock-bottom prices.  It’s as though the designers of this hub decided in a meeting, “Sure, we’re making a bargain-basement USB hub, but let’s make sure that the LED can double as a lantern for a Maine lighthouse!”  The LED on this hub is so painfully bright, it will actually cast (blue-tinged) shadows in bright daylight.  At night however, the LED is utterly blinding – far brighter than a purpose-built nightlight, and prone to eerie blinks and flickers at random intervals.  Plus, to add insult to injured eyes, the lens on the LED is shaped so that it paints a massive blue halo on a wall more than 25 feet away.

    The truly sad thing about this trend is that it encourages the waste of perfectly good LED’s, many of which will end up hidden behind several strips of tape or paper in a effort to dim their glow.  Really, is there anyone who’s writing letters to designers asking for more, bigger, brighter LED’s?


  11. HTC Thunderbolt

    May 23, 2011 by Huxley

    Over on the social news site Reddit, a user called geekay has shared the picture seen below.  The HTC Thunderbolt phone has been heavily marketed for its many advanced features, no more so than the “kickstand” on the rear of the device.  However, it appears that due to extremely poor foresight on the part of the designers, the USB port (required to charge and sync the phone) is placed in such a way that it’s nearly impossible to charge the phone while it’s leaning on the kickstand.

    This picture has prompted a number of discussions, especially around the topic of “dogfooding.”  “Dogfooding” is the practice of having employees (especially designers and engineers) actually use a product before it is launched, in the hopes that such obvious flaws will be noticed, reported and resolved before the product in question ever reaches market.  While it’s unclear if HTC ever “dogfooded” the Thunderbolt, it is abundantly clear that their design team should be punished by having to actually use this thing.


  12. 1993 Isuzu Trooper Rear Gate

    May 18, 2011 by Huxley

    Products That Hate You reader Miss A.D. writes in to share of her special hatred of the rear gate on the 1993 Isuzu Trooper:

    “The trunk of my whip has a Pull tab which you must yank on in order to shut the damn door. This has resulted in groceries being dropped multiple times, serious acrobatics and one arm being pulled out of socket…seriously…a hospital visit was in order. Luckily it wasn’t my arm.“

    There is a special sort of mind that designs a tool or component with such blatant disregard for the safety and well-being of the user.  Risking your arm to operate your car went out of style in the 1930’s when the manual crank-starters were replaced with electric motors… but apparently, Isuzu’s early-90’s engineers missed the 60-year-old memo.


  13. Mitsubishi NetCommand User Interface

    May 14, 2011 by Huxley

    There is likely a special level of Hell reserved for the twisted minds that designed the “Net Command” user interface for older Mitsubishi DLP televisions.  NetCommand appears on the surface to be a rather friendly interface for configuring, changing or removing connected devices from the TV.  Appearances are deceiving.  In fact, this is a carefully crafted tool with which to drive an unwitting TV user insane.

    Not only agonizingly slow and prone to random deletions of entire configurations, this system also forces the user to make dozens of unreliable button presses on the remote just to change an input type.  Mitsubishi’s NetCommand system is a remarkable achievement – a Graphical User Interface so bad, it makes a user want to never watch TV again.


  14. Terrible Window Latch

    March 31, 2011 by Huxley

    PTHY reader S. writes, “This is the latch on my window. To open the window I have to squeeze and pull. The problem is that the latch easily slides up and down scraping metal-on-metal (like nails on a chalkboard <shudder>) and the edges are sharp. That makes it difficult to have a good grip on it and open the window.”

     


  15. The PTHY That Started It All

    March 29, 2011 by Huxley

    The PTHY that started it all.  So sharp are the corners of the vertical edges on this bathroom sink knob, the user’s hands are actually bruised after every use.  Utterly shameful design.